5 Ingredients to a Lasting Relationship… Do You Have Them?
By Denise Vasi
It’s easy to convince yourself that someone else’s relationship is #couplegoals, but the truth of the matter is that there is no perfect couple or perfect marriage. Nothing is ever as smooth as it looks on social media. Every relationship takes work, especially a lifelong commitment like marriage.
While I don’t believe any relationship is perfect, I do believe that there are five essential ingredients to sustain a relationship through the inevitable ups and downs of life. Below are my five in no particular order.
Enjoying those carefree, spontaneous moments deepens your bond and lightens the load when life gets heavy.
Trust is not simply about fidelity. It’s about creating a space of safety and vulnerability for each other. This is something you definitely have to have from the jump. The only way for love to grow in a relationship is if the foundation is built on trust. Do you trust going after your dreams with your partner? Do you trust sharing your insecurities? Your hurt? Your honest feelings and messy emotions? You should know your partner will have your back when no one else does.
Being able to create a good time out of any ordinary event is part of what keeps the magic alive. You should have that one thing that you both enjoy doing together. Can you have fun doing nothing? Do you guys have inside jokes? Something only the two of you get? Do you laugh at the same memes? Do you engage in silly playtime or randomly break out in tickle fights? Enjoying those carefree, spontaneous moments deepens your bond and lightens the load when life gets heavy.
Having respect for one another is crucial for a long-term relationship. Do your dreams hold weight in the other person’s eyes? Do you appreciate each other’s unique strengths, abilities and flaws? When you have critiques for each other, is it coming from a place of genuine concern? Do you respect each other’s boundaries? Do you admire each other? Do you feel that your partner honors you? Do you recognize each other’s priorities? Respecting each other is about valuing opinions as well as passions. Maintaining respect for each other in a relationship can be harder than maintaining love, but it is an essential ingredient for a strong relationship.
In this day of social media and technology, communication is a skill that cannot be taken for granted. Do you truly listen to each other or are you just waiting to speak? In conversations of conflict, are you giving each other the space to communicate all sides of things? Are you interrupting each other? Are you engaging in effective dialogue? Do you understand each other’s communication methods? Are you talking with each other or at each other? Communication is something that happens with each other, and it begins with focus, eye contact and a listening ear.
Although physical chemistry is often taken for granted as a fundamental aspect of a relationship, it’s so much more than sex. It’s about experiencing each other, the way you feel to each other and the way you smell. Does your partner draw you in with their whole being? Are you compatible in your desires? Is there electricity? Does it feel comfortable and natural being in their embrace? Intimacy is the power behind a simple touch or even a hug.
If you recognize that any of these categories is lacking in your relationship or if you’re going through a rough patch, why not share these five ingredients with your partner and make a conscious, loving effort to show those arenas a little extra love.