Nurture - April 28, 2019

7 Weeks Till Our New Baby Arrives…

… and I’ve been doing a lot of reading about how life will change. Your relationship with your partner, your relationship with self, and your relationship with your firstborn child—I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared.

I know things will change for hubby and me, that’s pretty much expected. We’ve been through so many changes in our years together and have always come out stronger, so I don’t lose much sleep over that one. Which is not to say it’s any less important or that I don’t care, but I know like all the other transitions we have faced—“we got this!”

When it comes to my relationship with myself—let’s be real, there won’t be a ton of time for me the first few months. However, I know that I can make a conscious effort to take the time I need. It’s a choice. A choice I have to make to be the best version of myself. I also have a gut feeling that taking moments for myself will be a lot easier this second time around, so I’m not super concerned about that change either.

What I am most curious (and concerned) about is how having a second baby is going to affect my relationship with my firstborn. Does that sound horrible to admit?

Ok! Logically I know my heart will open and I will love my second born just as much as I love my first. But how exactly do you go from giving one child all of your attention to giving them half as much? How do they process that?

I was reading this article where a new mom of two, shared that after several weeks of snapping at her firstborn (for acting out) she finally calmly just asked: “What is the matter?” Her firstborn replied, “I just want you to hold me.”

Gasp! Bring on the tissues! The moment I read that I balled my eyes out!

For so long it’s just been my little girl and me (hubby too, but you know what I mean). I’m so very proud of the tight connection that we share. When she tells me I’m her best friend I believe it because when I say she’s mine I mean it wholeheartedly. The last thing I want is for her to feel abandoned (apparently a common feeling for the situation). How can I juggle all of her activities when I also have to care for a newborn?

Will she be sad if I miss a ballet class every once in a while? Will I?

I have so many questions, fears, and doubts about the near future. I’m trying hard to be present and not build up too much anxiety over the unknown and I trust that I’ll just figure it out—the same way I did the first time around. I’m so grateful I have my girlfriends who have gone through this before and our #maedmama community to lean on, I’ll definitely be reaching out for help and advice.

We’re just about seven weeks away now and amongst that anxiety is a lot of excitement. I can’t wait to meet my new baby, but until then I’m soaking up every last minute with my firstborn.

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