Dear Mamas… A Personal Letter To My MAED Mamas
Denise Vasi
“I know it’s hard mama. I know it can be hard to wake up every day and have these little people rely on you. I know sometimes it’s hard to feel like your world is so small. I want to remind you, you are the world. You are the world that your little ones revolve around. You are their nurture, their home, and their comfort. You are everything to them, and I hope even on your hard days you know how special you are, especially to these little people.” (- Anonymous)
Yesterday I posted this photo to Instagram with this quote as the caption, and I was blown away by the overwhelming response. As I pulled myself out of bed at 3 am to start my day, I cried. Partly because, as most of you know I AM NOT a morning person… (is 3 am even decently considered the morning?) and partly because honestly I am so beyond exhaustion.
With hubby out of town on a business trip for almost two weeks (feels like a month) waking up at 3 am has been the only way to get shit done. Mornings have consisted of rolling out of bed, taking fifteen minutes to talk myself into believing there’s nothing I can not do. (This works by the way. The self-pep talk!) From there I’ll spend the next four hours either answering emails and writing for the site or answering emails and my getting hair and makeup done for a shoot. Once the clock strikes 7 am, my little girl is up! Time to make breakfast, make lunch, dress her and get her off to school. No matter how hard I try, we are notoriously 15 minutes late for school drop-off every day. (I’ve learned to stop beating myself up about this. I’ve embraced it!) I stay for circle time, and by 10:15 am I’m either back at my desk running MAED or on set shooting content. By 1:45 pm I head back to school to pick her up and then the hardest part of my day starts. Trying to successfully balance my time with her, get her to her extracurricular classes while sneaking in a few work-related calls and battling my inbox all day long.
Granted, when hubby is home, my days are a good twenty-five percent easier. I’m grateful to have a partner who is committed to supporting our family in every and any way possible. The fact that my husband can do school drop-off and morning circle most days when he is in town is an absolute gift. It buys me two extra hours a day. Hollaaa!
Let me say this for anyone who might be scared to say it themselves— motherhood is hard! Some days we rock out and we win-win-win no matter what, and some days we have epic mom fail after mom fail. It doesn’t matter if you’re a full-time stay-at-home mama, a full-time working mama, or you’re juggling both. Motherhood is hard and it’s okay to admit that. Single mothers and mothers of multiples I tip my hat off to you because that, of course, is a whole other level of responsibilities. I often find myself wondering “how the hell did my mother raise me by herself with no partner to lean on.” (Thank God for my amazing extended family.) Or “how on earth did she manage my two younger brothers? Two boys, a year and eleven days apart running around breaking things, throwing things and jumping off anything they could scale.” (Thank God for my incredible Stepdad!)
Anyway, I’m sharing this because I wanted you, mamas, to know what it’s like behind the scenes for me, that there are days like yesterday that I feel broken too. That some days I wake up and I’m beyond exhausted and that the only thing that makes me feel better is a good old cry and a fifteen-minute pep talk.
What we can see from yesterday’s Instagram post is that we’re not alone. So many of the mamas in our community felt the exact way. Comments like “Needed to hear this today” or “Just on time” flooded in. Many of you had tears too. It’s so crucial for us to recognize that even though we all mother differently, we are all doing our very best and that some days while they might be a struggle, it doesn’t change how much we love our children.
I know the reason this quote touched us, so deep in our hearts, is because we know that while the pressure of having another human life (or several) depend on us, is heavy, the reward is incomparable to anything else in life. Nothing comes close to those moments when your little one hugs you out of nowhere. Or when you hear something like “You’re the best Mama ever!” in response to doing something like prepping your kid’s favorite meal.
Being a mother is no short of being a superhero. When we have zero ideas on how we will get it all done, we do. When we are so tired, we think we can’t keep going. We push through. Fueled by the love for our babies there really isn’t anything we can not seem to overcome.
So to all my MAED mamas who make it happen every day all damn day I just wanted to let y’all know…I feel ya. You’re not alone. There’s nothing wrong with a good cry every once in a while. Please try to find 30 minutes each day for self-care— it’s vital for survival. And to remind you that on your toughest days, when you doubt yourself, look into your children’s eyes— you’re doing an incredible freaking job!
Big Virtual Hugs & Kisses, xxDV
