How to Love Being a Single Mom on Valentine’s Day
Leah Campbell
I’ve been single for most of my life, and this coming Valentine’s Day will be the 37th consecutive year I haven’t had a romantic partner to celebrate with. And yet, I don’t see any reason to mourn being single. Valentine’s Day, to me, isn’t just about romance. I love being a single mom on Valentine’s Day because it’s a day I spend celebrating the one true love of my life: my daughter.
I know for a lot of single moms, this day can be a hard reminder of what they no longer have—the partner who either bailed out early or was good for a while, until everything fell apart. I’m willing to admit it may be easier for me because I’ve never really had a great love to lose. But for the mom who is mourning the relationship that is no more this year, I want you to know: There is still joy to be found on Valentine’s Day.
Celebrate Those You Care About.
Valentine’s Day can be about all different types of love. I’ve always seen this day as an opportunity to do something special for the people I care about. Friends, mostly—the family I’ve created for myself. And there’s something exciting about that too, about focusing on the love I do have.
Celebrate the love you have in your life—your kids, your friends, your family. Just because you’re currently single doesn’t mean you’re loveless.
Make Valentine’s Day About Your Kids.
If you have your kid(s) this Valentine’s Day, commit to showering them with the love and attention you might have otherwise bestowed upon a romantic partner. I like to surprise my daughter with flowers and balloons on Valentine’s Day morning, reminding her how special she is and how big my love for her remains.
Even though I do it every year, she still acts like finding those small gifts beside her bed is the best surprise she’s ever had.
We always try to do something fun together that day. We might go sledding if there’s fresh snow on the ground, or watch a movie we’ve both been wanting to see. Just something fun and out of the norm that allows us to enjoy some time together.
Just because you’re currently single doesn’t mean you’re loveless.
Celebrate with Other Single Moms on Single Mom on Valentine’s Day
For dinner, we usually get together with my other single mom friends, each making something yummy to contribute to a family meal. The kids play, the moms drink wine and enjoy each other’s company, and it’s generally the most peaceful, fun celebration I could imagine.
Do this even if you don’t have your kids this year. Throw yourself into spending time with friends—the women who lift you up when you’re feeling down. Let them remind you how amazing you are and do the same for them. Why not take those single friends of yours and hit up the local bar scene? You’re almost guaranteed to meet someone—and whether you need a palate cleanser or are ready to start working toward something serious again, this is a great night to get a feel for what’s out there.
Because if there’s one thing I’ve come to learn, it’s this: Romantic love can fade. But real friendships are forever.
Devote Some Time to Self-Care
If your kids are with their other parent this year and you’re not feeling quite up to going out, that’s okay, too. I can’t tell you how many Valentine’s Days I’ve spent focusing on the most important love of all: self-love.
If you need to learn how to love yourself again—take this day as an opportunity to be kind to yourself.
Pick up your favorite bottle of wine and order in for dinner. Fill the tub to the brim with bubbles, play some music, and spend the evening relaxing.
Go on a hike if outdoor activities are what fills your heart with joy. Or get out that dry brush and body gua sha if a little pampering is what you need.
You could even spend the night curled up on the couch binging your favorite show.
Whatever it is that fills your tank the most, do it. Spend the night loving yourself.
Because you know what? You deserve it. And if ever there was a day meant to remind you of that, it’s Valentine’s Day.
