Nurture - March 4, 2019

Things You Should Never Ever Say To A Pregnant Woman

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This funny thing happens when a woman is pregnant—all of a sudden everyone around her seems to lose their sensibility. Family members, friends, co-workers, and even strangers feel this unnecessary need to question, comment, and joke about everything under the sun regarding her pregnancy. While it usually stems from pure curiosity or someone just trying to be helpful, most of it comes off intrusive, rude and judgmental.

We spoke to three different pregnant and asked them what they felt were the top things you should never say, ask or do to a pregnant woman.

“Are you pregnant?”

We all know what happens when one assumes. So don’t assume because you might stick your foot in your mouth. Also, either the news is out, or it isn’t. Wait till someone confides in you, they may not be ready to share yet.

“Are you sure you’re not having twins?”

This question might be the worst thing you could ask a pregnant woman. Erase this question from your mind. Just DON’T ask it!

“You’re getting so big!”

Hello! Don’t be a body shamer! Yes, part of being pregnant is getting bigger, no one needs a reminder though. Thank you, next!

You’re so skinny. You can hardly tell you’re pregnant.”

Again, this is considered body shaming. No woman wants to be told that she looks too small or not pregnant enough, the same way no woman wants to be told she’s getting bigger. Refrain from making any blanket statements about size. It’s a touchy subject!

“You look like you’re ready to pop.”

Ummm, no! A pregnant woman is not inflated, there will be no bursting.

“You’re still pregnant?!”

Clearly!

“How much weight have you gained?”

This is way too personal ever to ask. Don’t ask a woman about her weight period. Pregnant or not.

“Was it planned?”

Entirely none of your business whether or not a child was planned. Unless you guys are BFFs, this question is off limits.

“Can I touch your belly?”

Please don’t pet the belly. The womb is not a puppy. Family and close friends get a pass and while asking is nice and appreciated, things will get uncomfortable if a woman says no.

“How far are you? Eight months?”

“No, I’m only five months.” Awkward! You’re not a psychic so please don’t guess how much time is left in a woman’s pregnancy. You’ll probably be way off, offend her and end up feeling like a jerk. If you’re curious as to when she’s due simply ask her “When is your due date?” and leave it at that.

“Oh no. Really? A home birth? An epidural?”

Don’t judge a woman’s birth plan! She’s probably put a lot of time and thought into how she hopes her birth will go and what she doesn’t need is a judgy opinion.

“You should/shouldn’t…”

In fact, please keep all pregnancy-related opinions to yourself. If a pregnant woman needs advice from you, she’ll let you know.

“Any traumatizing story.”

Let’s keep it positive, Y’all. Keep the horror stories to yourself. Most women are working hard to remain calm and optimistic. Plus, not everyone looks at childbirth like it’s terrifying. So let’s just refrain from sounding the alarms.

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Photography - Delmaine Donson
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