Nurture - January 5, 2021

Why You Shouldn’t Celebrate Valentine’s Day

Just two days before Valentine’s Day is a lesser-known occasion referred to as Red Tuesday. Ever heard of it? Apparently this is the day of the year when couples are most likely to split. The reason behind this phenomenon varies depending on your source, but the most common theory is that couples feel the pressure of planning a romantic date, buying the perfect gift, or committing to someone before they’re ready and simply call it quits instead. 

Even if your relationship is on solid ground, there are some perfectly valid reasons why you shouldn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day on February 14. Of course, all couples should make time to honor and celebrate their relationships, but doing so on Valentine’s Day can be more of a headache than it’s worth. Here’s why.

Expectations are higher than ever.

If all of the holidays were ranked, Valentine’s Day might just be the one with the highest stakes. Why? Because on Valentine’s Day, there’s this unspoken expectation that everything should be just perfect.

Planning the day can come with its own level of stress and on the day itself, you may find yourself catastrophizing every little thing that doesn’t go according to plan. If you’re the one going into the big day with high expectations, you may feel slighted and hurt if your partner shows up with a wilted gas station rose and box of chocolates from the mall. (Okay, there’s never an excuse for a gas station rose, we’ll give you that one.)

If you’re feeling nervous or stressed about Valentine’s Day, or if your relationship is not on the strongest foundation right now, don’t set yourself and your partner up to fail. Nurture your bond, opt for a low-key night in, and save the spectacular proclamations of love for a different time.

It’ll cost you.

According to Bank Rate, an all-out Valentine’s Day celebration, including dinner at a fine-dining restaurant, champagne, flowers, and, of course, chocolate, costs an estimated $617.77.


If you’re married—and especially if you have kids—that might not be a financial hit you’re willing to take for a single day on the calendar.

Even if you don’t go above and beyond for Valentine’s Day, going out to dinner on that specific night of the year usually costs more than the average meal any other day because many restaurants offer spendy prix fixe menus that have you paying for wine, appetizers, salads, main courses, and desserts when in normal circumstances, just an entree would do.

Still want to enjoy a nice meal without breaking the bank? Making a meal together at home can be a great way to connect, as is ordering take out or even hitting up a casual diner. Save the special plans for a different night.

You don’t have to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

And then there’s this: you don’t have to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Do you make plans with your partner just because that’s the thing to do? That right there is reason enough not to celebrate Valentine’s Day. 

Sometimes deciding together to skip Valentine’s Day festivities is more romantic than celebrating half-heartedly or on pins and needles wanting everything to be just so. Instead, commit to celebrating your love in ways big and small all year round, rather than setting high expectations for this one specific day. 

The spirit of Valentine’s Day is sweet and well-meaning, but the fanfare that comes along with it can add unneeded stress to the strongest of relationships. Remember that you can choose how you want to celebrate, or even if you want to celebrate at all, and that the smallest gestures are often the most meaningful ones.


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